Is this it? I find no harm in giving myself, ourselves a little chance to add spice in my/our boring lives.
Just like old times, the messages comes once in a while and in a short context. Somehow I tried to reach out and open up a bit not to intimidate but to make it an actual conversation. But it was a hit and miss, very fickle like the weather nowadays. Eventually there was an opportunity to converse face to face. The supposed schedule should be within my time frame as I don't have enough time. The time-frame was mentioned crystal clear, but no time and place was decided. But still, I was expecting. My dilemma was how to break the ice and so I initiated a message. The response took a while, quite long and somehow puzzled me. The ice not only didn't break but somehow evolved into an iceberg. It suddenly put a full stop, a period on whatever situation, I or we are in. I suddenly had a mixed of emotions. Was I hurt? definitely. Was I lead on, I think so. Is it my pride, probably. Any lesson learned? Not really sure. I took a chance that I rarely do and yeah life happens so this one is for the books LOL
There are so many questions going on in my head, I want to ask why? a lot of whys? what happened? what did I do? But I just kept it all in and yeah... start moving on. Darn.
After a week I received a message, a straightforward apology. No explanation, just sorry. I answered immediately, indirectly admitted I was hurt and accepted the apology for whatever reason it might be. There was another reply with a more apologetic message. I chose not to answer.
I considered this as a hiccup in my life, probably more are coming in the future. And now I realized it was my pride, pride chicken hehehe. It was like a slap in my face. My self-esteem went several bars low, I think, whew. I was about to lose my sparkle, but no, never, not a chance, I refuse. While I still wonder why? I chose to move on and pick up the glitters along the way to bring back the shine on that momentary dullness of my life.